me: I bet you’ll be happy if I don’t get into the exchange program (because they’ll miss me so much)
my mom: you know we want you to get in
my dad: – actually –
my mom: but you’ll have plenty of opportunities if you don’t
my dad: – actually, we’re pretty excited, we’re gonna go into your room, crack open all the stuff
my mom: get a hazmat team
my dad: it’ll be great!
my mom: and there will be less mess, and we’ll get to eat spicy food, and there won’t be any more 1 am showers
Thanks, parents, thanks.