VIENNETTA

THIS IS SO EXCITING

SO EXCITING I’M GOING TO EXPLODE

SO FOR ALL YOU CANADIANS BORN AFTER 2000

THIS IS VIENNETTA CAKE:

SWEET JESUS LOOK AT THAT

I USED TO HAVE IT A LONG TIME AGO WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG

AND THEN IT WASN’T IN STORES ANYMORE

AND WE COULDN’T FIND IT IN THE STATES

SO I FIGURED VIENNETTA WAS GONE FOREVER

IT’S SERIOUSLY THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I’M SALIVATING RIGHT NOW

UNCONTROLLABLY

LOOK AT THAT

AND LO, A RADIANT LIGHT BEAMED DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS

DELICIOUSNESS RIGHT THERE

YOU CAN GET IT IN THE UK

MY DOUBTS ABOUT EXCHANGING AND CROSSING AN OCEAN ARE OVER 

BECAUSE YOU CAN GET IT OVER THE OCEAN

SO I’M GOING TO HAVE TO BOARD THAT FUCKING PLANE

BECAUSE LOOK AT THAT CAKE

THIS IS A TRIUMPH

 

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