My birth certificate stuff finally came in the mail! Aaaaand… A UK PASSPORT!
I checked DHL tracking again today, and I saw that as of some ungodly early time this morning, it had been given to delivery courier, which means I couldn’t have received it yesterday, but it would come today. So I’ve been waiting in excitement all morning, AND IT CAME! And it came with two massive envelopes! I saw that one had been forwarded from England, and thought “…can it be…?” Yes, it can be. It’s very shiny and nice, and has a layout that is pretty similar to the Canadian one. I also got a leaflet saying that the layout has changed (copying us, eh?) and to not worry, it is still blah blah blah. The inside blank pages are also pretty, they have pictures of various kinds of British landscape, like pictures of what registers to my Canadian sensibilities as pathetic excuses for lakes, forests, and mountains. Admittedly they didn’t call it a forest, they called it “woodland”, but still, I bet there’s areas of relatively unbroken forest in Canada that are bigger than Great Britain and Northern Ireland. They also had a picture of what appears to be a marsh, which they called a “reedbed”. And a fishing village, and a moor, and a village green, and a canal, etc. In the Canadian passport it’s just maple leaves on every page. It’s a bit of a shame, since we’ve got tons of great fodder for passport pages. We could have the Rockies, Great Lakes, moose, polar bear, falcons, a beaver, fish, Haida totem pole, prairies, newfie fishing village, something picturesque from quebec, a whole pile of snow, the Canadarm, and fill the rest up with hockey pictures, except for the last page, which could bear that great Canadian painting of Steven Harper naked with a Timmies, with the caption saying “Renew Your Passport Else You’ll Have To Have A Visa Stamped On This”. It would be great! For shame, Canadian Government, for shame.
I also have to grudgingly concede the efficiency of the British government – it took slightly over two weeks to have my Canadian passport renewed, and there really wasn’t much they had to do for that, but it only took three for the UK government to process a first-time application. Not bad.
I’m also going to add that opening the front cover and seeing “Nationality: British Citizen” made me feel kind of dirty inside, but not necessarily in a bad way. And I know what’s going to happen next, my mom and paternal grandma will fall over themselves wanting to see it, my sister will be mildly interested, my dad will make fun of me, and my grandma might call me a traitor to Canadian-ness, but I also might just avoid bringing it up with her. I’m also looking forward to the part where I whip it out and yell “BAM!” and possibly make someone else I know fall over. Also, since my docs were returned, it means I can present my mother with her birth certificate as a belated birthday present. This is less cruel once you know that she never had a long-form and I had to order it.